When your a Partner or a Parent and you start feeling what is your place and worth, am I just a slave doing what I’m told too.
We’re going to peel back the feelings and thinking of society vs your own –
There are four events/milestones in our lives that we get so excited about hitting but the journey after hitting those events/milestones can create emotions that we may of thought we would never feel about that event/milestone.
The four events/milestones –
Adulthood/coming of age
Birth of a Child/ren
Reaching the milestones is a achievement in it self but the achievement sometimes over shadows the actual reality or feeling of what comes once you reached that milestone and the hard work involved.
With marriage and kids some times it’s a whirl wind of love and passion that a few discussion may be forgotten to be asked before hard or each one’s idea’s are very different to the next and then your evolving two different family’s that may be from different backgrounds, cultures, ways of thinking that everyone has an input into the way a partnership should be and how a family dynamic should be then throw in financial situations.
We can even have planned out our entire life and both partners both be on the same page, but didn’t plan for financial struggles which throws a different dynamic in to the most planned out plans.
A partnership is about supporting each other pulling each other up mentally, psychically, financially that your 100% there when needed it comes before any job, friends, money but there should also be a balance that there is me time, together time, work time, social time this is were if there is no balance that people can feel like they are a slave in the relationship that they do more than the other with doing more housework, earning more money that is why balance is important and an open line of communication where you can express these concerns before they escalate out of control.
This can be the same when having a child that one parent needs to take time off to raise the child for a certain amount of time where emotions can fly high and if finances are tight can cause more tension where the one at home feels like a slave to the house, partner, and child/ren and the one working can feel like a slave to money, work and family that they only have to do this because of family.
Both sides can feel like they are not accomplishing anything and feel worthless and emotions that they may have never felt before.
When you feel like this think of the happy times of when you achieved these milestones and how you got there, recapture the love, passion if you feel lost think about that even though you may only be a House Wife/Hubby or House Parent you both have sacrificed life why – the one working is working instead of spending time with you and or the child/ren to provide financial security to get the things you need or like to have, they take on the stress of this so you can spend time at home or looking after the children to give you more time freedom than having a boss telling you want to do in return you put love into the home by the up keep and having delicious smelling food and clean clothes ready for the other person so they don’t have to come home after a busy day and do it so that they might be able to have some time to spend with you in the evening relaxing after both of you have had a busy day.
The partner at home may feel unaccomplished that they get sick of their daily routine and start feeling like a slave, when you feel like this why not take on an activity or maybe find something that you can earn a little bit so you can feel like you are also helping out.
Just remember the saying it takes a village to raise a child – African proverb
Instead of trying to figure out how to do things by yourself there is so many ways to get help or ideas of how to keep your child/ren entertained with out costing a fortune and this time you have with your child/ren you will never be able to get it back so enjoy the time you have staying home and spending time with them as soon when they hit teenager-hood or adulthood they wont want to spend time with their parents.
Bake with them, clean with them teach them to clean up after themselves, teach them things where they can help you also so you do it together so you don’t feel like your doing it all, and that they (child/ren) then don’t feel like they are the slave by having to do all the work.
Child/ren take how they are brought up and either try to copy that or make it better, so concentrate on each day at a time and be happy money comes and goes, but your family is what should matter and stick like glue.
Find what works for you and your family how your all happy and everything works seamlessly for you as a partnership or family, others may comment but it should be what makes you’s happy and works, the same thing may not work for anyone else but it works for you and your partnership and family and your happy that is all that matters remember a slave is a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.
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